April 16, 2023

Dear Diary,

I've come to a startling realization recently: I might be a neophiliac. Yes, it sounds like a weird disease or a sci-fi character, but it turns out it's just a fancy term for someone who's addicted to trying new things. I'm always on the hunt for my next fix of novelty - whether it's traveling to far-flung places to sample exotic foods, or pushing myself to the limit with spine-tingling activities like zip-lining or mountain biking. My parents call me crazy, but I call it living life on the edge. Who needs a boring old routine when you can live like a neophiliac instead?

So, as someone who thrives on stepping outside of my comfort zone and trying new things, I recently found myself in a nerve-wracking yet exhilarating situation when I applied for a position on the local School Board. It seemed like a great opportunity to make a difference in my community and get involved in something meaningful. Little did I know that this experience would push me to my limits and put me in the spotlight in ways I never imagined.

It all started when a board member resigned, and instead of holding a special election, they decided to appoint the next trustee. I had about a week to fill out an application, and I felt pretty good about mine until I realized that I needed to include a current resume. The only problem was that the last time I did a resume was in 2002. Yikes. I scrambled to update it and ended up including an entire section composed of emojis. But hey, it's all about standing out, right?

The real nightmare began when it was time for the interviews. They were held in a public boardroom and live-streamed on the internet. Each candidate was given the opportunity to make a two-minute opening statement about themselves and then respond to four questions, which we didn't know ahead of time. There were six of us candidates, and they kept us sequestered in a separate conference room until they called us individually into the boardroom. I was lucky (or unlucky) enough to be called last.

One by one, I watched as each candidate returned to our confined conference room after their interview ashen-faced. I tried to stay calm, but it wasn't easy. I kept picturing myself making a complete fool of myself, which would go viral on the web and haunt me forever. When it was finally my turn, I approached the dais and started giving my opening statement. About halfway through, I started to shake with nervous energy and don't really remember much of what I said after that. It was like I dissociated from my body.

The questions were really tough, multi-layered questions, and even though two minutes seemed impossibly short in which to respond, I always felt like I left time on the table. I learned that when someone says, "that's a great question," what they really mean is, "holy crap, I don't know what to say, and I hope that I am buying enough time to have the answer magically pop into my head." Or maybe that’s just me.

After I was done, they called all six candidates back into the room and reviewed us publicly yet again on the live-stream recording. Each of the four sitting trustees was given two votes for all of us candidates. Ultimately, I didn't get a single vote, but the individual who got appointed is a terrific person and is already doing great work on the board. While it didn't work out for me, I am super proud of myself for doing it. And it looks like my failed attempt didn’t hurt too much because the Superintendent recently invited me to join a special advisory board to pass a local parcel tax, which I readily agreed to join, and which is sure to add to my popularity! Who doesn’t love more taxes?

So, that's the story of my attempt to get appointed to the local School Board. Lesson learned: always keep your resume up to date and be prepared for the unexpected. And maybe, just maybe, try to calm your nerves before a big interview so you don't dissociate from your body.

Very truly yours,

Maya