July 16, 2021

Dear Diary,

Today is Hubby’s and my last day of freedom before we retrieve the children from rehab. 

You see, Diary, the children’s device addiction had reached untenable levels and Hubby and I realized that we had to resort to extreme measures to get them back on track. So we sent them into the remote wilderness to spend two weeks device-free, but surrounded by lots of therapeutic distractions like horseback riding, wake boarding, and go-karting. Lest you be unfamiliar with such a place, Diary, other people more commonly refer to it as sleep-away camp. 

As neither child had ever been to sleep-away camp, we prepared ourselves for their inevitable homesickness, and rehearsed our response should we receive any tearful calls in the middle of the night. 

Neither child, however, seems to be suffering at all in our absence. To the contrary, my incessant stalking of the camp’s photo portal suggests that they are having the time of their lives. Most galling of all, however, is that despite my providing the children with self-addressed and stamped envelopes so they could send us news of their rehabilitation progress, neither one has sent  a word home. 

After over 450 days of total and complete quarantined togetherness, I thought that I would be the one to most appreciate the separation. However, I don’t seem to be managing things well at all. 

Mercury must be in retrograde because after smashing my middle finger in our freezer door, I broke my first-ever bone by stubbing my toe on our bed-frame.  If 2020 taught me to never again take hugs for granted, the lesson of 2021 seems to be about respecting one’s unsung appendages. I had no idea how critical my toe and middle finger were to my every day life. I’m also fairly bummed about the prospect of having to spend the next 6 weeks clunking around in a moon boot on one foot, and a sneaker with a velcroed 1” inch foam lifter velcroed on the other. This is decidedly not how I expected to spend my post-vaccine, beach-loving summer.

Tomorrow, we will pick up the children and begin the process of rebuilding a (mostly) device-free lifestyle back at home. We know that we have to stay strong and create firm boundaries and time-limits; and that we can never cave into their plaintive pleas, regardless of how persuasive they may be. It’s going to be tough, Diary, so please give me the strength to succeed and respect my appendages. 

Very truly yours, 

Maya